The Third
by blowfishissweet
Summary: After a failed attempt to shrink Percy's ego [there was a potion involved], The Weasley Twins find themselves accompanied by a reluctant third: 15 year old Severus Snape.
1. Fred and George, A History

A/N: Erm...its been used so many times. I've gained a new fondness for Fred and George and I've always been fond of Snape, so for some reason, I just HAD to write this. I apologize for any mistakes and I'm sorry about the writing -I'm in a bit of slump. I swear I used to be much better than this (the magic is gone!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Oh, and...after I actually, like...WROTE this, I realized that Fred and George had the ever-popular Lee Jordan as a sort of third, but I, uh...felt the need to disregard the existence of Lee Jordan. I never really paid attention to Lee Jordan, see...and erm, its a bit of a struggle for me as a horridfanfiction author to incorporate characters I never paid attention to. Once again, I apologize. Now, on with the story!

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**The Third**

**Chapter One: Fred And George, A History (And a Couple of Bludgers)**

Fred and George Weasley were identical twins and very best friends. Inseparable since birth, they had taken advantage of every opportune moment to partake in zany hijinks and crafty pranks, building up their reputation as the infamous Weasley Twins, pranksters extraordinaire. They had started out young, wide-eyed, and bushy-tailed…literally. At the ripe, old age of four, George had snatched his mother's wand while she was busy bathing ickle Ronniekins in the sink and given Fred a tail. He had been so impressed with himself that he had handed the wand over to his tailed twin and encouraged immediate vengeance.

Molly, of course, had been absolutely horrified (quickly overridden by an unquenchable fury), and knew that she had made quite the error in judgment telling Arthur that she wanted another in the oven so soon after Percy's grand little entrance.

The twins wrought havoc inside The Burrow, the Weasleys' modest (ramshackle) home. Between their frequent scheming and her other five children, Molly Weasley often found herself at the end of her rope. Of course, this didn't mean to say the twins weren't loved.

Certainly – they were _adored_. Their mother might have even shed a tear when she sent them off to Hogwarts when they turned eleven, but nobody could be too certain. To this day, Ron and Ginny Weasley chalk the tiny drop up to the nasty cold their mother had been enduring since mid-August that year. They never told their brothers about the sigh of relief they heard after the Hogwarts Express started to coast noisily away.

But anyway, who really cares about the past? Fred and George lived in the _now_, and the now was their fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Their mother had been sorely disappointed when they had failed to make prefect, much to the twins' amusement. How could you have _fun_ while burdened with extra responsibility, anyhow? They had shaken their heads, chuckling at her ridiculous expectations. Silly woman. Of course, Sir Pompous Percy hadn't failed to make Head Boy. They weren't bitter – certainly not! There really was nothing that delighted the duo more than their older brother's quickly fattening ego…

…Bloody vainglorious prat…

Ickle Ronniekins, now known as just plain Ron to his friends, was a third year. Fred and George were tremendously proud of their little brother – he was friends with Harry Potter! The savior of the wizarding world! More importantly, Harry was a _celebrity_. There was no bigger source of amusement in this world than the amusement spawned by a celebrity. Take that Gilderoy Lockhart git from their fourth year for example. There was no end to the joke they could make of _him_. Although, admittedly, they were fond of Harry. They liked to lessen his troubles by exaggerating them through improv acting. Like that time everyone thought Harry was heir of Slytherin and the twosome had a clove of garlic handy every time they happened to run into him. That was a laugh riot.

"Weasleys!" Professor Severus Snape now snapped. Fred and George looked up from their cauldron, smiles on their faces and mischievous glints in their eyes.

"Yes, Professor Snape?" Fred asked.

"Is there something we can do for you, sir?" George inquired.

"Anything at all?" Fred prompted, taking note of the way Snape's sallow skin turned a rather rosy shade of pink as the fury rushed through his veins. The twins exchanged glances and nodded in agreement. Clearly, anger suited the Potions Master.

"What are you brewing?" Snape hissed, ladling a bit of the potion out of the cauldron and slowly dripping it back in. "This isn't-"

"What you assigned," George cut him off dismissively.

"Precisely," Snape spat. "Explain."

Fred picked up a full vial and handed it to the angry professor. "Why, Professor, of course we wouldn't have a complete disregard for your instructions. As you can see-"

"- We already brewed it!" George finished. "We'd never-"

"-ever-"

"-_Ever_ not have something ready for you at the end of class."

They beamed at Professor Snape, who was looking suspiciously first at the vial and then at the cauldron.

"That looks like-"

"It's not," George laughed.

"You're imagining things!" Fred told him.

"We'd never do something so dunderheaded-"

"-Right in front of you!" they chirped together.

There were snickers from their surrounding classmates who had overheard the entire conversation.

"SILENCE!" an irate Snape barked. The teacher then opened his mouth once more to insult them, to correct them and tell them that, yes, they most definitely would do something so dunderheaded in front of him because they obviously just did, but unfortunately, Professor McGonagall decided to enter at that moment.

"Severus, what _is_ the yelling about?" the older professor asked wearily. Her thin lips were thinner than normal, meaning that someone was about to be in a good deal of trouble and her tone indicated that she was just a bit too tired to deal with them. With a homicidal maniac on the loose and dementors surrounding the school, everything had been getting to be just a bit too tiresome around Hogwarts that year.

"Blithering idiots…" Snape muttered by way of explanation. "What do you want, Minerva?"

"Why, Severus," she said testily, clearly not in the right mindset for his foul mood, "Two bludgers have gone missing from Madame Hooch's office and I think I know who last played with them. I simply wanted to ask Misters Weasley here if they had any idea where they happened to go."

"Us?" the twins asked innocently, subtly kicking their heavy booksacks beneath the table.

"Yes, you," McGonagall sighed. "Now honestly, if you hand them over now you'll only get a few detentions…"

"Wouldn't you hear them?" Fred asked reasonably.

"They are feisty little buggers after all," George pointed out. "They wouldn't just sit still and let us get on with our lessons, would they?"

Professor McGonagall had had enough. "Look, Weasleys. I know you have them. Nobody else would be fool enough to take them. What did you do? Put them in a full body bind? Would that even work? What do I have to say to get you to reveal yourselves as the culprits? _Ennervate!_?"

Much to everyone's surprise, including the irritated professor of Transfiguration, that _did_ work. Two heavy book sacks made their way into the air struggling against the extra weight. The twins ducked before their heads were nearly bashed in.

Choruses of swears and yells of pain created a distressful cacophony in the dungeons as the booksacks awkwardly made their rounds around the classroom, hitting some, narrowly avoiding others. Professor Snape stood still, glaring down his long, hooked nose at the sheepish, redheaded boys.

"Erm…" said George.

"How did those get there?" asked Fred, smiling weakly.

Once again, Snape's mouth opened to reply, but before he could…

SPLASH.

One of the sacks (later Fred would claim that it was his, but George insisted that it was his own), landed right in the potion…dousing the infuriated Professor Snape with its contents.

The class sat in stunned silence as Professor Snape trembled with rage. At least they thought it was rage…the tremendous convulsing taking place might very well have had something to do with the fact that Professor Snape was rapidly shrinking…and his skin was smoothing out…and his hair was getting less greasy…

And all Fred could say was, "Blimey."

And all George could say was, "Well…I guess this means we're pretty horrid at potions."

The rest of the class was screaming. The twins didn't really listen to them. It was just some rubbish about Professor Snape having turned into a teenager, anyhow.

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To be continued if you want more. :)


	2. Ickle Severus

**A/N:**Hey, look how eager I was to update. Isn't that sad? Anyway, thanks to any lurkers who might have come about to read this and extra special, spectacular thanks to my first two reviewers! _Celesmoon_ and _LaxGoalie_, you guys are a rainbow in my heart. Although, Lax, I'm pretty certain Fred and George are two years older than Ron and Harry. Percy's two years older than Fred and George, Ron's a year older than Ginny, blah blah blah. Please forgive me if I'm incorrect :) Sometimes I suck like no other. Anyway, enjoy this horrendous chapter. I hope it makes you smile.

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The Third

_**Chapter Two:**_ _Mission:Shrinking Percy's Head: **FAILED!**_

Albus Dumbledore's office wasn't a frightening place – not by any means, but sometimes…when they created enough chaos for the chaos itself to become present with them in the office, Fred and George Weasley found themselves to be a bit, ah…uncomfortable.

15-year-old Severus Snape glared at them, his black eyes glittering malevolently, his mouth in a frown, his fists clenching. The Weasley Twins decided this could only mean one thing: Snape needed to have a hearty laugh about the entire situation so he could forget that he utterly despised them, and go on to be a productive, friendly, non-murderous member of magical society. To Fred and George, laughter solved everything.

But before they could scheme amongst themselves, Headmaster Dumbledore cleared his throat. A quick look at those twinkling blue eyes relaxed the Weasleys.

It was quite easy to tell when Dumbledore was amused. You see, the old man was almost _always_ amused, and he was definitely amused this time. He kept looking between the redheads to his left and the pouting boy to his right and then would turn around to pick a lemon drop out of his candy dish and pop it into his mouth. Fred and George knew very well that their beloved headmaster was trying to hide his smiles – by the time dear, old Albus finally faced them for real, his mouth was crammed with about 5 lemon drops.

They weren't the only ones who realized this.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Snape exploded, leaping out of his chair. "Look at me! I'm a CHILD! You think it's funny, Albus, but it isn't! I'M A BLOODY GANGLY TEENAGER. Look what they've done!" He motioned down towards his thin, awkward body and jumped in the air once, about three inches up, to illustrate how tall he had been before this travesty had occurred. He turned towards the sniggering twins and bellowed, "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"Professor," George addressed him calmly, overcoming his chuckles.

"You look brilliant," Fred assured him.

"Absolutely fantastic."

"Maybe a trifle splotchy. I think you're breaking out."

"Better calm down and-"

"Stay away from sugar."

"FIVE HUNDRED POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape roared…or he tried to roar. His voice cracked slightly in the process of roaring.

"Ah, don't worry about that, mate," Fred said. "Still happens to us."

"All the time," agreed George. "Reckon it'll go away soon enough."

"I. Am. Not. Your. Mate," Snape informed them through tightly clenched teeth. "I am your professor and you will treat me as such throughout the time that I am in this diminutive body or I will bloody well rip the red hair off your Weasley heads!"

A moment of shocked silence passed through the room. Fawkes looked at them curiously from his perch before flying over to inspect the situation more closely from Dumbledore's shoulder.

Then Fred asked, "Is he allowed to threaten us with physical violence, George?"

"I think not, Fred. I think someone needs a nap."

"Ickle Severus is all cranky."

Snape's face had turned a magnificent shade of plum. This time, the twins did not think it looked so attractive. An angry mass of pale flesh and black hair seemed to be coming at them from all sides, all fists and feet, ready to bruise them like they'd never been bruised before. Fred closed his eyes.

"I think this is it, George."

"It's been a good ride, Fred."

But the beating didn't come. Of course, Dumbledore would never allow one of his staff to deliver blows in his very office. Why hadn't they thought of that? Clearly, 15-year-old Severus Snape was just as terrifying as…what was he now? Somewhere in his 30s?

They hesitantly opened their eyes to find Snape on the floor in a full-body-bind, Albus Dumbledore leering over him and searching the endless black orbs for communication.

"Are you going to be calm, my boy?" he asked gently. "The twins did not mean to do this to you, I'm sure. Let's give them a chance to explain why exactly they were brewing a de-aging potion in your classroom before we, ah…er…how did you put it, Severus? Rip the red hair off their Weasley heads?"

Something in Snape's eyes must have indicated that he had agreed because Dumbledore, much to the distress of Fred and George, put Snape right.

"Now," the old headmaster clapped his hands as the dark-headed boy scooted back on the floor to lean against the desk. "Misters Weasley, would either of you, or both of you, care to explain why exactly you were brewing that particular potion?"

Fred cleared his throat. "You see, Headmaster…"

"…It's like this…" George went on.

Albus held up his hand. "I changed my mind. Just one of you will suffice."

The boys exchanged glances.

"The floor's all yours, Fred," George said graciously, gesturing for his brother to go on.

"Oh, no, George, you are far superior to me in the realm of explaining things to the Headmaster. Remember that time with the ants…" Fred burst into laughter.

"You mean that time when we charmed the ants into Filch's pants?" George asked, unable to contain his own chuckles.

"And you explained to Headmaster Dumbledore here that we were simply attempting to show our dear Hogwarts caretaker some compassion by keeping him in tune with nature…"

"By bringing the outside in," George finished thoughtfully, a smile on his face. "Why, yes, Fred, I do believe you're correct. I am the better of the two of us at explaining." He puffed out his chest importantly. "You see, Professor, how I am more than willing to take my brother's compliments and turn them into a healthy inflation of my ego?" Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully and motioned for the boy to continue. "Well, our brother Percy…you know how he's head boy and everything. He's just become so…"

"Big-headed," Fred chimed in for the word.

"And we decided it would be really funny…"

"Hilarious," Fred added.

"To make a shrinking potion to SHRINK Percy's head."

Another blast of silence ensued and it seemed like glances were exchanged in every which direction before anyone bothered to speak. Fred to George, George to Professor Dumbledore, Professor Dumbledore to Professor Snape, and Professor Snape to Fawkes.

"Dunderheads," Professor Snape informed Fawkes, who nodded in agreement.

"Well…yes. I mean…what exactly were you thinking?" Dumbledore asked, completely befuddled by the boys' train of thought on this particular prank.

"We don't know," they answered in unison.

"We're usually very clever," Fred assured him.

"This was a fluke," agreed George.

"Yes," Dumbledore agreed, stroking his beard wonderingly. "A fluke that turned our Potions Master into a cranky 15-year-old boy."

"I AM NOT CRANKY."

A pause.

"Cranky," Fred sniggered. "Ickle Sevviekins!"

"THREE THOUSAND POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

"Severus, don't be ridiculous. You can't take away points."

"What do you mean I can't take away points?" Snape asked, his icy voice filled with venom. When Dumbledore failed to answer he repeated, "What do you MEAN I can't take away points, Albus?"

"You can't teach in this state, Severus," the old wizard said thoughtfully. "You're much too…unbalanced."

"Hey!" George stood up, and walked behind Dumbledore, shielding Snape from his view. "He's not loony!"

"Yeah!" Fred agreed, standing next to his brother. "Sev, you're not hearing, er…voices in your head or any of that rubbish, are you?"

Severus scowled. "SIT DOWN."

This had no effect on the twins.

"Rather poor command, old chap," George said sympathetically. "You weren't even that intimidating."

"You really aren't cut out for teaching in this state, are you?" Fred concurred, reaching down to pat the dark boy's head. He quickly drew his hand back when a snarl erupted from Snape's mouth.

"Easy there, tiger," the twins murmured, then looked back up at Dumbledore with the synchronized question: "What's our punishment, then?"

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"He's _got_ to be kidding," Fred said once they were safely out of the office. "What're our mates going to say?" 

"He's _got_ to be," groaned George. "Slimy Slytherin Severus Snape…in OUR dorm!"

"Isn't that punishment for Snape? How can he punish the victim?" Fred asked angrily, smashing his fist against his palm. "Where's the justice in this world, ay?"

"I'm not bloody happy about it either," Snape said, glumly walking at their heels. "The least you could do would be to not reference it in front of me as if I weren't here." After a moment, he added, "Dunderheads." You know, just for good measure.

The twins sighed. Snape sighed.

It was going to be a hell of a…however long this took.

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Ah, yes. To Be Continued and other such ending of the chapter trivalities... 

:shameless begging for reviews ensues:

Please? I'm usually quite popular! Not that you can tell...since I switch names so often and never tell anyone my previous identity...You see, I hate to not live up to expectations and I tend to go slowly downhill each day...how dreadful...


	3. Vomit and Useful Little Mistakes

**A/N:** Severus Snape will always be my favorite character and that's all that I have to say.

**The Third**

**Vomit and Useful Little Mistakes**

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Severus Snape had never been so furious in all of his life. He was so used to being "large and in charge" that he found his present circumstances to be a valid reason to believe that Merlin himself reserved the utmost loathing just for him. 

It seemed as if little Gryffindors were blotching his eyes like little stars after being hit on the head with a blunt instrument.

First he saw them in that most repulsive portrait guard, "The Fat Lady". No, he would not necessarily think them gluttonous, per say, but foolhardy and brave enough to eat more than their little stomachs could handle? Ha! They probably thought it a challenge! A dangerous feat! At least that Longbottom boy had succeeded at something. The rotund little walking blunder…

In the red and gold of the Weasley twins' scarves he felt rather than saw their good, little intentions. The warm colors, you see, were obviously symbolic of their "warm hearts".

And then in the common room, he saw them _smiling_. With _sincerity_.

And playing their games and doing their homework and talking to their friends and sitting by the fire and –

…staring directly at him.

Oh no...

Severus felt his nerves churning around in his stomach, his stomach steadily entering his throat…and then…and then….

"Its, okay," he heard one of the insufferable Weasleys inform the room in a matter-of-fact tone. "He's not dangerous. You can tell by the way he just sicked-up all over that plotted plant."

"That was my HERBOLOGY project!" Severus heard the Longbottom boy cry out, and when he forced his head up to glare at the fool through blurry eyes, he saw the round figure back away slowly and heard him say, in a softer voice, "but, erm…you can use it as a toilet if you want, Professor Snape."

Severus snorted haughtily and hung his head back over the plant in the most dignified and aristocratic manner he could muster, releasing one more wave of sick as if to say, _you bet your arse I can_.

"It seems," one of the Weasleys spoke up over the nonexistent chatter, his voice louder than necessary. "that George and I have made a big and, most likely, unforgivable mistake."

Loud protests followed the admission, but were quieted when the other Weasley waved his hand. "Now, now you lot. Even _we_ can make mistakes."

As if to prove their point, the twins both jerked their heads towards Severus, who in turn, took a seat on the ground much like he had in the headmaster's office and sulked.

"Now, although he's not really a professor anymore," Fred (Severus could differentiate just for the moment) began "we expect you to treat him kindly. He might still be a raging gi-"

The portrait hole swung open again and Percy Weasley walked through, his chest puffed out impressively, his Head Boy badge gleaming as if it had just been freshly polished.

"What are you all standing around for?" he demanded, seeing the pale faces of those under his authority staring blankly back at him. "What in Merlin's name is going on here?" He swung around to look at his identical younger brothers. "What have you two done? And who's that boy?" He looked down with an air of superiority at Severus. "_You're_ not a Gryffindor." Then, noticing the now-putrid plant that Neville Longbottom had been raising since seed, he crinkled up his nose in disgust. "Have you been _sick_?"

"Thirty points from Gryffindor for your lack of sympathy," Severus snapped. Then, feeling that that wasn't enough, added, "And five more…because your badge is too shiny."

Fred and George laughed heartily at this but stopped at the stunned faced around him. "Oh, don't worry," they said together. "He can't _really_ take off points."

Severus noted one of his second years had his hand raised a bit timidly in the air. Percy was still staring at him, his mouth gaping wide open.

"Yes, Colin?" George asked pleasantly.

"You…You are...but it can't be…" Percy was murmuring, his hand partially covering his mouth as he stared at the dark-headed boy in wonder.

"Can I take a picture of him?" the boy asked, holding up a camera excitedly. "I've never seen Professor Snape as a little bloke before!"

"No!" Severus snapped. The boy lowersed his camera, his bright eyes suddenly downcast. "And never, _ever_ refer to me as a 'little bloke' again. I'm older than you, you foul, nosy little-"

"That's enough of that," Fred interjected, patting Severus on the head in a most demeaning manner.

"You're…you're…" Percy was saying, looking absolutely horrified.

"Yes, yes, Perce" George said impatiently. "He's the kindly old Potions Master in boyhood form."

"I'm not _old_!" the Potions Master protested.

"Well, you're not kind really, either, are you?" Fred said, smiling at Severus fondly.

"SHOW SOME RESPECT!" Percy suddenly bellowed. It seemed he had had enough of acting the part of the ignorant older brother for the time being. "He's a professor for Merlin's sake!"

"Oh, do shut up," Severus spat, climbing to his feet. "And clean up my sick," he added, pointing to the potted plant. "Longbottom needs to pass at least one class to stay in Hogwarts, doesn't he?"

"But…but..." Percy spluttered. "You could easily do it yourself!"

"Yes, but you see, _I don't want to_," the boy hissed in an icy voice that made Percy feel like an idiot and reminded the rest of the room that this awkward teenager was indeed Severus Snape. "Now _clean it_, you imbecile."

With a muttered incantation, a swish of his wand, and a red flush of humiliation, Percy did as he was told. He stumbled off a moment later, muttering abusive things about cold-hearted little boys under his breath.

The common room broke out into a fresh wave of chatter as Fred and George turned matching, beaming smiles on this suddenly very useful mistake.

"We really like you," they said simply, moving so that one was on either side of the boy. Severus felt an arm sling overboth of his shoulders and wondered, a feeling of dread rising from his toes to his head, if Merlin had somehow found an emotion that ran deeper and darker than hate.

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A/N: This was obviously hurried. I just needed something to make me feel better.


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